Star Trek Zombies

My dreams are always so… weird, complex, vivid, and yet, they’re quite interesting.

Last night (it’s 9am right now, and I just woke up), I dreamt that I was part of the medical team aboard, get this, The USS Enterprise. That’s right. I was aboard the frigging Star Trek spaceship. Now, I am not a Star Trek fan at all, but somehow I managed to get the name of the ship and the characters right. Weird. The captain of the ship was James T. Kirk, but not the William Shatner version. It was the Chris Pine version. Hehehe. Even in my dreams, I have good taste :P And who the hell is Jean-Luc Picard? His name keeps popping up in my head, but I don’t know who he is.

Anyhoo, during the voyage to some place in the outer space (dreams are never very clear about these things), there was an outbreak of zombie virus. Yeah, Star Trek + Zombies, who would have thought right? Anyhoo, one guy got infected and turned into a zombie  and during a huge fight, he was thrown through and glass window and fell into deep space oblivion.

Then we landed on some planet that really looked like Earth, IMO. What did we do? We had a frigging PICNIC! That’s when several other people started showing symptoms of the Zombie virus. I, being a part of the medical team, had to administer some kind of shots to these infected people. It was quite tough. They were starting to get aggressive, and I had to find the right vein to inject the antidote in, and they were chasing me on the water slide… Yeah.. That’s when I woke up. I usually wake up when my dreams start to get wonky :p

I blame SPOCK for this dream!

P.S. Jean-Luc Picard – Bald guy who played Professor X on X-Men. Had to google him. LOL.

P.P.S Maybe I should start a dream blog. Chronicle all my dreams. That’d be cool…

Must Musing

You know you’re a shisha whore when…

1. you go to a shisha place and the people who work there say, “Hey! Long time no see!”
2. the owner of the shisha place knows you AND your profession.
3. you’ve gotten a free shisha.
4. the waiter who takes your order knows what shisha flavor you want without you telling them.
5. the moment you sit down down, the shisha guy goes over to you and says, “Shisha tonight?”

Yes, all of these have happened to me. Yes, I am a shisha whore. Bwahahahahah.

Happy 20th Anniversary ELS!

This month, November, ELS Malaysia celebrates its 20th anniversary. 20 years and still going strong. Far out! Check out the video ELS made in conjunction with its 20th anniversary.

P.S. Hyf’'s and my part rocked! :p

Being Stepped Over?

Langkah Bendul – In the Malay culture, it is considered a “langkah bendul” when a younger sister gets married before her elder sister. It is also tradition for the younger sister and her newlywed husband to present the elder sister with gifts as a sign of respect and hope that the older sister will find her own match soon.

You’re probably wondering why I’ve suddenly decided to give you an insight into the Malay culture. Not only Malay culture, but Malay WEDDING culture at that. Here’s the story…

My younger sister, Ernie, recently announced that she’s going to be bringing home a guy to officially meet the family. A guy whom, if all goes well, she plans on getting engaged to and marrying soon afterwards. A WEDDING! SUCH HAPPY NEWS! I am happy for her, and for a while, all I could think of was “GIFTS! GIFTS! GIFTS!” since a “langkah bendul” will happen.

All was great until I decided to go over to my parents’ house after work  because I’d been too busy this past weekend to stop by. The first thing my mom said to me as soon as I walked in the door was, “Kalau adik kamu kahwin, nanti kamu dilangkah bendul. Kamu takpe?”, which, in English, meant, “When your younger sister gets married, you’ll be stepped over (langkah bendul). You okay with that?” My answer to that was, “Takpe. Biarlah die kahwin. Lagipun nanti Ira dapat hadiah. Heheheh,” which meant, “It’s okay. Let her get married. Besides, I’ll get presents. Hehehe.” You know what my mom’s answer to that was? She said, “Bagus. Biarlah die kahwin. Kalau nak tunggu kamu, sampai bile die nak tunggu,” which meant, “Good. Let her get married. If she has to wait for you to get married first, who knows how long she’ll be waiting.”

GEEEEEEZZZZ MOM!!! Are you on a mission to see the destruction of my mere and humble existence?!

Okay, so it sucks that there’s a high probability that my younger sister who’s 3 years my junior might get married before I do. But if it’s true love, who am I, the most hopeless romantic I know, to stop it? Let true love run its course. I’m genuinely happy that she has found someone worth bringing home to officially meet the family. I really am. But does my mom have to be so condescending and hurtful? I am only 26 years old GODDAMMIT!

Do I annoy you? Really? How much do I annoy you? Am I annoying you now? Are you really annoyed? Will you tell me if you’re annoyed? Will you? Will you? Am I really annoying?

Have you ever met anyone who annoyed you so much that their presence could change your mood from utterly upbeat to horribly horrifying? Someone who, no matter what he did, annoyed the crap out of you?

Unfortunately, I have. Recently, in fact. The funny thing is that I’ve known the guy for about 5 years. Granted, I’ve only known him online all the while before this, but still. I’ve met a lot of people online, and almost all of them have turned out to be decent people. Some of them even became some of my closest friends, like Zuni and Corporate Chick, so it was really weird when this particular guy just bugged the hell out of me. Him online? Decent guy. Got along with him fine. Him in person? Kill me. Kill me now!

This guy, let’s just call him Annoying Man in honor of his superhuman power to annoy me beyond mere annoyance, had SOOOOO many annoying characteristics. Let’s highlight a few of the major ones…

1. His tendency to blurt out random words in French, a language none of my friends, family members, or myself knew. A few foreign words here and there is not a problem since I, myself, am an ESL teacher, but this guy does it ALL THE FRIGGING TIME! It’s the equivalent of me saying this to a person who doesn’t speak Malay: “Yeah, yeah! Let’s go to that place! Tempat tu seronok gile!” People who don’t speak Malay, did you understand what I just said? NO!!!!! And this happened like 5 times a day!!!
2. His ability to talk about money… and nothing else. Zuni commented that Annoying Man seemed to be quiet most of the time… except when he’s talking about money. “We closed a deal with our client for this much money,” “I bought the place for that much money,” and “They’re paying me this much every month,” are the kind of things you hear coming out of Annoying Man’s mouth when he’s not jabbering in French. You know what I think though? I think he was all talk and that he didn’t actually have as much money as he made it seem like he had.
3. His manners… or lack of it.
   He had his shoes on the first time he stepped into my house. I told him off for it and explained the Asian custom of taking off the shoes when you enter a house, coz let’s face it, we Asians do everything on the floor. We sit, eat, pray, and even sleep on the floor. Fast forward to a few days later, he walked around my house with his shoes on AGAIN! Not only that, when I dropped by my parents’ house (my parents were out of town) to drop off my brother, I told him to come inside the living room and use the internet if he wanted to coz I had to get some stuff from the house, he WENT UPSTAIRS UNINVITED! I got so angry! Who the hell goes upstairs in a stranger’s home uninvited?! People with no manners, that’s who!
4. His inability to accept his faults, mistakes, or anything that sheds a negative light on him.
   Sometimes it’s hard to understand what he’s saying because he doesn’t pronounce his “H”. So one day he was saying, “Yeah, you have to eat the batteries. Then it’ll work.” We were all baffled. We were like, “What? Eat the batteries?” It was another 5 minutes before we figured out that he was trying to say “HEAT”. When I tried to get him to pronounce it properly, he said “That’s how we French talk.” So what? IT’S EFFING WRONG! Just frigging admit it already. Gah!
5. More of his annoyingness!
   Last month we went on a 26km cycling tour in Cambodia. He kept falling behind and had on this constantly pissed off face the whole entire bike ride. (Did I mention he had on a constantly pissed off face each and every morning when we’re walking around temples as well?)  His reason? “They gave me a shit bike! This bike is fucked up! I can’t change gears!” …………… SIEM RIEP IS A STRETCH OF FLAT LAND! THERE IS NO NEED TO CHANGE BIKE GEARS!I didn’t change my gear the entire bike ride, AND my bike seat was so hard that within 5 minutes on it my ass was already aching, but did you hear me complain? NO!

You know, this particular guy bugs me SOOOOO much that if I keep going, I’ll have an uber long list. Because of this, I’m gonna stop here. I hope someone can shove his boastfulness, his rudeness, and his annoyingness up his rude, pompous ass!

Quotable Quotes

“This certainly could finally explain why a man that ugly would dump a princess so beautiful for another woman who looks like a foot.”

-Perez Hilton on rumors that Prince Charles is gay-

LOL!!!!!

Songs of Past Romance

LIST UPDATED!

It’s so weird how every time you have a new guy to drool over, there’s always a song being played over and over again on the radio that gets to you. Sometimes the lyrics of a song is too similar to your own tale of love that you think that, by some weird fate or alignment of the stars, the song was made especially for you. Sometimes a song just reminds you of your muse, despite the fact that the song is not even a love song. And sometimes you just randomly pick a song and decide that this is the theme song for your new crush, regardless of what the song is.

When I look over my shamefully long list of long forgotten romances, I realize that I still think of them whenever those songs happen to be playing on the radio. Here are a few of my past theme songs…

1. 1st boyfriend - “Kiss Me” by Sixpence None the Richer (ironic, since we never kissed)
2. Ganu - “Since You’ve Been Gone” by Kelly Clarkson (the lyrics spoke to me.. It was all pretend)
3. Love of My Life - “Kenangan Terindah” by Samsons (aku yang lemah tanpamu.. so he said.. LIES!!)
4. Beach Bum - “Sempurna” by Andra and the Backbone (first song we really listened to at the start of the relationship)
5. Fat Bastard – “Jingle Bitch” by Phoebe Buffet (FRIENDS) – some lyrics may have been changed to better suit the situation.
6. Immature - “I’m Already Gone” by Kelly Clarkson (we were always meant to say goodbye)

Current Status: Single
Current Theme Song: “Just the Way You Are” by Bruno Mars
Current Muse: ……..

Please Rephrase

A student in my writing class wanted to write that he woke up from a terrible nightmare drenched in sweat.

This is what he wrote…

“When I woke up that morning, I got wet…”

Hehehe. It’s the funniest thing I’ve seen this month. I had to tell him why he had to rephrase his sentence. AWKWARD :p

 

Quotable Quotes

“Isn’t that the thing that killed romance?”

- Bianca Stratford
10 Things I Hate About You
on Feminism-

Breast Ironing in Cameroon

Watch the video below to  see how cruel women in Cameroon are to their own daughters. Women in Cameroon are ironing their daughters’ breasts in order to prevent unwanted pregnancy. Girls are getting their breasts ironed as early as 9 years old. The notion is that girls will appear less sexual to men if they didn’t have breasts, therefore reducing the possibility of them having sex., which in turn will NOT get them pregnant and allow them to finish school. All I can say is that this is clearly child abuse. Anyone who did this in any other country would have been put to jail. One order of Sex Ed please!

Breast Ironing in Cameroon

Quotable Quotes

“Have you heard of the new Dutch Bra? It has all the support, but no cup.”

-Anonymous-
On the 2010 World Cup

Another Accident To Add To A Growing List...

A few days ago I got my Prowler into a little fender bender. Was turning into a road, took too much road space and ended up going into the other lane, which resulted in me crashing into another car. It's my fault, definitely, but the damage wouldn't have been so bad if the guy hadn't been going uber fast. Now I'm out RM300 and I've got a dented car, not to mention a growing list of road catastrophes. Maybe they should take my license away. I'm a recipe for road disasters.
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Must Musing

Some guys, despite their age (and gender), just act like high school girls. Unfortunately, you’ll meet at least one in your life, one way or another. That, my friends, is what I call one of life’s little inevitabilities.

Eclipse Clipse

OMG. This actually looks real good! I can’t wait! Eclipse has the most fighting scenes out of all the books. Boys, you might want to consider watching this one :)

Disney’s Desperate Housewives

 
Hehehe. This cracked me up early in the morning!

Quotable Quotes

I saw Prince of Persia yesterday and loved it!  Then, when I read this quote from Jake Gyllenhaal on Perez Hilton this morning, I just cracked up. Dude’s got a sense of humor :)

“I would just like to say to all the ladies out there, I know this is a big weekend for you in North America…this (stands up and points at his body) is Sex and the City – and if you want to see Sex and the City 2 – just see my movie twice.”

- Prince of Persia star Jake GyllenHO, to MTV Canada this week

Quotable Quotes

“Ultimately [I] want someone who you can pal around with and also be intimate with. Someone who can laugh at your jokes. It may sound cheesy, but someone who can be your best friend as well as your love.”

-Jensen Ackles on his dream woman-

So one guy said something in the lines of this to me:

“A guy doesn’t want a best friend. He doesn’t want someone to play video games with. He wants a girly girl. He wants a girlfriend.”

But now we’ve got Jensen Ackles saying the opposite?! Gah! Why must men be so confusing!

Promoting World Cup 2010 *sizzling*

Promotion indeed! Soccer stars Sulley Muntari, Landon Donovan, Kaka, Samuel Eto’o, and Pato posed in Vanity Fair to promote the upcoming World Cup 2010 in South Africa. If they’re gonna be playing in only their drawers, I’d totally watch the games :)

Today’s Lesson

The other day I learned that…

I don’t know how to do my taxes.

Guess I’m still not a qualified adult yet. Haha.

BABY SOUP in CHINA?!

WARNING: THE IMAGES BELOW ARE TRULY GRAPHIC AND NOT FOR THE WEAK OF HEART.

I was browsing through facebook, and I came across a very disturbing photo of a fetus being cooked and made into a soup. I decided to look it up online and this is what I found:

Apparently, a town in China is now on a trend of making HERBAL FETUS SOUP to increase sexual stamina.

You can read more HERE.

Question: Are these stories true or just one of those urban myths?

There are theories which claim that these baby soup stories are just myths. Click HERE and HERE to read a few articles which try to debunk the rumor that people in China eat babies.

Quotable Quotes

blogging blodyn on smoking shisha:

 

“Suck deep. Blow hard.”

 

Iranian Cleric’s Stroke of “Genius”

Apparently women are capable of causing natural disasters all over the world for being “scantily clad” and “leading young men astray” by “spreading adultery”. Want to read more about this idiocy? Click HERE.

Quotable Quotes

I am every guy’s best friend…

-blodyn-

Banting Local Council Sexist Act!

Taken from http://mienly.wordpress.com

(spread this through email, post on your blogs and facebook peeps! Let’s refuse to have leaderships that are discriminatory in any way! )

Dear Y.B Rodziah,

It was a great honour to have you officiate the “Gadis Ceria” event at Majlis Daerah Kuala Langat as well as hearing you speak so eloquently about the need to empower women and encourage the participation of women in decision making process. Sadly, Y.B in my two years’ experience in MDKL I find most of the people in decision making positions are gender biased and very patriarchal.

I would like to highlight a case in point. I sit on the interview board at the council and I find many female candidates are deliberately overlooked because of their gender. Today (8/4/2010) I sat on the interview board to interview candidates for the position of “Public Relations Assistant” or “Pembantu Penerangan”. Clearly, according to the criteria there was no special preference except for those who could read and write in their mother tongue. Out of 25 candidates, two candidates were short listed. A young woman and man who were both staff of the council. They were pretty much at the early stages of their service in MDKL.

They both performed exceptionally well in the interviews. The interview board was made up of the Council President, Administrative Officer and 3 councilors. I was the only female among them, so the gender ration was 4:1. Though there is another female councilor on this board she was not selected to attend this interview. Firstly, the girl had a good mastery of the Tamil language, had a distinction for English and a credit for Bahasa Malaysia. She was very well versed in all 3 languages. She also was very confident and displayed her capability in her interview. The male candidate was as active and capable but he didn’t have the language skills of the girl. The job scope required many language related tasks like producing the council newsletter and updating the website. She displayed obvious prowess in being able to write and speak in her mother tongue which was stated in the job advertisement.

However, when it came to the final decision the Council President made a very deliberate choice to select the male candidate because ” dia lasak dan mampu kerja malam”. Where as the other male councilor mentioned that “women could not perform such tasks”. According to the Council President, the job required the incumbent to be in the Emergency Response Unit which required them to stay out late and to be able to rough it out. I reiterated that this was not stated in the job scope and that the female candidate possessed all the requirements. To which the male councilor mentioned that there were already too many female staff in the council. My protests fell to deaf ears and I just could not believe the level of gender bias that was being displayed by all these men in positions of power. A woman lost out the opportunity for a job suited to her capabilities and qualifications because of her gender! After promoting a pro-women empowerment manifesto, it is shocking and baffling to see this happen in the progressive Pakatan led government. This young woman had been led to believe that she had a chance on a level playing field when she applied for the job. Unfortunately, she was cruelly deprived of the equal opportunity to compete for the job by men in power who were clearly prejudiced against her.

I was truly disempowered as the lone female voice among these men. I was forced into a decision which I felt was a great injustice to the young woman. I want to bring this to your attention so that matters can be rectified. I believe in your wisdom and leadership to undo this injustice.

Thanking you.
Janarthani.A
Local Councilor
Majlis Daerah Kuala Langat

The Big Potato Blow Out

1. Things you need to know before you read on:
   There is a guy at work who likes to make stupid and gross (albeit funny) sex jokes at work. One day, he did a finger gesture to the girl sitting next to him. The girl’s reaction was a disgusted face and the remark, “Eewww! Gross! You look like a potato!” because in reality, he does have an uncanny resemblance to a potato.
2. The Potato hates me (though he won’t admit it if you ask him) ever since I became close friends with the Sutton. Frankly, I think he’s got some sort of man-friend crush on The Sutton… *shivers*

Now, the story….
I had to make a teacher’s duty roster for Friday’s graduation. The Sutton thought it’d be funny if we added “The Potato” in bracket beside The Potato’s name (his real name, which shall not be mentioned in order to avoid further humiliation to the potato’s part, as well as a means of preventing another possible Big Potato Blow Out).

Anyhoo… The Sutton did it. I warned him that The Potato might get mad, but he thought it’d be funny. Let’s face it, it is kinda funny. So The Sutton made his little change, and I let him print it out.

The next day, The Potato was not happy. He ignored The Sutton. Unfortunately, he didn’t ignore me. He called me over and started shouting his potato ass off to me. Ordering me to change the duty roster. Yelling about how it was inappropriate behavior. Ummm.. I’m sorry, but weren’t you the one who’s always making sexual jokes in the office? What a hypocrite. Oh, wait, that was different? How so? Pfffft!

The Sutton tried telling The Potato that it was all his fault and I wasn’t to blame, but he just yelled at The Sutton to shut up, turned back to me, and kept on yelling and yelling and yelling. The whole office heard and all was quiet. I was quite angry myself. Wanted to smack him in the face. Why only blame me? Why not blame The Sutton and I equally? I’m telling you, it’s the whole I-Hate-You-Coz-You-Took-My-Sutton-Away-From-Me scenario. He just needed a valid reason to hate me.

It was The Big Potato Blow Out. Very messy. Although, doesn’t it make you think about potatoes and barbeques? Mmmm… Yummy :) Hehehe.

The World's Best and Worst Lovers

World's Best and Worst Lovers... According to the result of a poll which sampled women from 20 different countries...

World's Best Lovers:
1. Spain
2. Brazil
3. Italy
4. France
5. Ireland
6. South Africa
7. Australia
8. New Zealand
9. Denmark
10. Canada

World's Worst Lovers:
1. Germany (too smelly)
2. England (too lazy)
3. Sweden (too quick)
4. Holland (too dominating)
5. America (too rough)
6. Greece (too lovey-dovey)
7. Wales (too selfish)
8. Scotland (too loud)
9. Turkey (too sweaty)
10. Russia (too hairy)

Click HERE to read the full article!

Today's Lesson

I learned a new word.

Hangry : the state in which someone is cranky or angry because he or she is hungry and has not had food.
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Quotable Quotes

“Thanks to my animal behavior classes/research I've done over the years, every time I watch typical rap videos, I think of it as human courtship behavior. Jewelry and expensive cars as honest signal for wealth, and thus ability for male to care for female and young. Ornamented female in courtship dance with big butts signify fertility, and thus quality female. Sexual selection right thurrrrrrrr.”

-La Loca-

Must Musing

“I wish he would die and burn in the pit of hell for eternity! Why? No reason. Just because.”

Hmmm… Isn’t it weird how random thoughts like this surface at the most random moments?

Today's Lesson

Today I learned that...

My plumbing goes haywire whenever I'm in The Castle. How cool is that? :)
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11th January 2010

It is only the 11th day of the new year, yet I feel as if these past 11 days have been some of the most eventful days of my life. I don’t know what it is, but I just have a gut feeling that 2010 will be a great year. I feel it in myself. I feel it in the air. I feel it all around me. Heck, it’s only the 11th, yet I feel like I have done so much. It’s invigorating! 2010 is invigorating!

Unfortunately, The Bostonian is gone. It feels weird. He played a vital role in 2010 being a great year for me so far. Meeting him marked the start of the new year. With him gone, well, I feel as if an ending is near.

So… as I was driving to work this morning, I watched as the pink hue of the morning sky brighten up and clearing out to a new day. At that moment, I knew that he was probably getting ready to leave, and with him leaving, he was penning the last words of the first chapter of my new year. My 2010. But hey, that chapter is only the beginning… :)

To a wonderful New Year!

Life is a Box Full of Chocolates

Guess what one of my students gave me today? :)

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Quotable Quotes

"I shall always remain the sexual fantasy. Nothing more. I am still undecided on whether or not this is a good thing."

-Irina R.-
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