Wardrobe Malfunction

 

I swear, I am the most unlucky human being in the world when it comes to wardrobe malfunction. Usually, the problem lies with shoes. I’m either breaking heels or breaking straps. I’ve even chipped off chunks of my wooden wedges, hence why I stay away from expensive shoes. Prices don’t matter. If they’re girly, I’ll break them no matter how expensive they are.

Anyhoo, this past month, all my shoes were in good shape. For now, at least. Unfortunately, my pants – not so great. I had TWO pants disaster this past month alone! The first was when I realized the zipper of my pants broke. Fortunately, a little safety pin solved the problem. About a week later, I found a hole at the crotch of my pants. Not right in the middle where the hole is quite invisible, but right below the zipper, where the hole is CLEARLY visible. My brightly colored unmentionables didn’t help either. Oh, and the icing on the cake? Both incidents happened while I was at work. Thank God for Big J and her sewing kit. Saved me from utter humiliation. I owe her one :)

You can be gay, but you can’t tell anyone?

Why are most Malays such hypocrites?

I just read an article on Azwan Ismail, the Muslim Malay man who publicly announced that he was gay online. I was shocked by how many enraged Malays there were based on the comments I’ve seen. Why was this shocking to me? Because being Malay (and therefore Muslim) and gay is not an alien notion. It’s been around for so long. I’ve met plenty of gays and lesbians. I am friends with some gays. Heck, the place I get my hair cut is run by gays and transsexuals. Almost everyone I know is okay with being friends with gays or those who are obviously gay, so what’s with the countless death threats and enraged comments?

That’s where the hypocrisy comes in. The way I see it, most Malays are okay with being friends with gays or suspected gays, as long as it is not made public that these guys are gays… Did that make sense? Basically, it goes something like this: “If I don’t know for sure that you’re gay, then it’s alright, but if you tell everyone you’re gay, then you’re going to hell”.

Fucked up, isn’t it?

Today’s Lesson

Today, I learned that…

Shisha+Cough Syrup+Cold Medicine+Panadol+Antibiotics
=
HIGH!

Kids, do not try this at home!

I will never ever EVER smoke shisha and then take my medicine ever EVER again. I’ve learned my lesson. Warp Zone! (&*%$^$%&^**&(*F&(&F(&DS(&FS(&^%&%&%!

-END-

P/S If you are sick, STAY IN BED!

Quotable Quotes

I just HAD to put this down. It’s the only thing that cracked me up the entire day! :)

“Isn’t it lovely to know that the ‘defenders of our faith’ include ‘ulama’ who insist that the Devil had a conversation with the Prophet in which he told him that he liked to hang out at CINEMAS, and issue a fatwa that declared budu as najis if spilt upon clothing, but perfectly pure when eaten.

Jilat telo bapak ngko boleh?”

-Anonymous-
(Just coz I don’t know if he’d want to be published :P)

Star Trek Zombies

My dreams are always so… weird, complex, vivid, and yet, they’re quite interesting.

Last night (it’s 9am right now, and I just woke up), I dreamt that I was part of the medical team aboard, get this, The USS Enterprise. That’s right. I was aboard the frigging Star Trek spaceship. Now, I am not a Star Trek fan at all, but somehow I managed to get the name of the ship and the characters right. Weird. The captain of the ship was James T. Kirk, but not the William Shatner version. It was the Chris Pine version. Hehehe. Even in my dreams, I have good taste :P And who the hell is Jean-Luc Picard? His name keeps popping up in my head, but I don’t know who he is.

Anyhoo, during the voyage to some place in the outer space (dreams are never very clear about these things), there was an outbreak of zombie virus. Yeah, Star Trek + Zombies, who would have thought right? Anyhoo, one guy got infected and turned into a zombie  and during a huge fight, he was thrown through and glass window and fell into deep space oblivion.

Then we landed on some planet that really looked like Earth, IMO. What did we do? We had a frigging PICNIC! That’s when several other people started showing symptoms of the Zombie virus. I, being a part of the medical team, had to administer some kind of shots to these infected people. It was quite tough. They were starting to get aggressive, and I had to find the right vein to inject the antidote in, and they were chasing me on the water slide… Yeah.. That’s when I woke up. I usually wake up when my dreams start to get wonky :p

I blame SPOCK for this dream!

P.S. Jean-Luc Picard – Bald guy who played Professor X on X-Men. Had to google him. LOL.

P.P.S Maybe I should start a dream blog. Chronicle all my dreams. That’d be cool…

Must Musing

You know you’re a shisha whore when…

1. you go to a shisha place and the people who work there say, “Hey! Long time no see!”
2. the owner of the shisha place knows you AND your profession.
3. you’ve gotten a free shisha.
4. the waiter who takes your order knows what shisha flavor you want without you telling them.
5. the moment you sit down down, the shisha guy goes over to you and says, “Shisha tonight?”

Yes, all of these have happened to me. Yes, I am a shisha whore. Bwahahahahah.

Happy 20th Anniversary ELS!

This month, November, ELS Malaysia celebrates its 20th anniversary. 20 years and still going strong. Far out! Check out the video ELS made in conjunction with its 20th anniversary.

P.S. Hyf’'s and my part rocked! :p